Mary Sue (goddess_marysue) wrote in howlerspeak,
Mary Sue

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Greetings Artemis Fowl fan fiction writers.

In case you haven't realized I am the first and patron goddess of the specie�s known as � Mary Sue� and I want to make a few things very clear.
Currently we are being over burdened with young beautiful criminal geniuses who happen to be either American or Irish and know all about � Fairy's�.
Either that or they really are fairy's , or half fairy's , or in some extreme cases witches.
The current population burst is even worse then the Harry potter meets a mysterious exchange student incident which followed the fourth book in the year 2000.
We cannot handle it , these criminal genius keep breaking into Mary Sue academies private vault on a regular basis in order to fund missions and take over the underground haven.
And the amount of times LEP shuttles have been uprooted on my private tennis court is really getting ridicules.
To make matters worse as soon as we register an Artemis Fowl Mary Sue she is immediately killed off in the most gruesome way imaginable.
In fact this afternoon we registered a new Mary Sue only to discover the character known as Butler � takes care of her at the end� which means she holds the record for the shortest Mary Sue employed by the guild EVER.
Approximately 6.7 seconds.
In order to sum everything up I am making one plea.
Stop making Artemis Fowl Mary Sue�s they are far to smart and arrogant for their own good and the cost of their memorial services is draining the guilds funds ( along with the number of times the guild has been robbed by these girls).
We do not want you to kill them , just stop creating them as soon as possible.
If you comply to our wishes I will instantly use my goddess powers to give you all seven acne free days and the ability to write compelling slash fan fiction.

Yours diplomatically , Goddess Mary Sue.

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